Eulogy to the Penny
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Let us mourn the penny. It had a good run, but its time has come and gone. I’ve always been one of those that wondered if the penny was really necessary. It was fun as kid, collecting them, putting them on your elbow then trying to catch them, placing them on the railroad tracks, but as an adult all they seem to do is sit in your pocket, clog the catch in your dryer, fall down into the cracks of your sofa and ruin the color scheme of American currency. That and it became easy to use them for ass pennies. They were small, easy to stuff, and since they were already brown, they camouflaged any unsavory residue. Hence the reason the ass dime never took off. But back to the matter at hand, over here they don’t use the single cent. All prices end in 5 or 0; all the coinage is either 5, 10, 20, or 50. The thing is even businesses that are run by Americans on so-called American land over here, don’t use pennies. Seriously. Military installation round everything up or down to the nearest nickel. And it works.
I know, I know there are those that wish to hold onto the past, if ain’t broke there ain’t no need to fix it Cletus. And then there are those that say “well if we rounded everything up or down then I could lose 13 cents a year”. Well the death rattle of the penny can be heard. Hell its been resuscitated lord knows how many times. And on top of all that, the government is eventually going to stop production of the little bastards since the production cost of a penny is actually .014 cents. That’s right. To make a penny, it cost more than the penny is worth. That’s just bad business. Any good business would cut expenses and rid them selves of this albatross. In the next few years, we will all be saying, “I remember the penny, I liked the way Abe smirked at me. Made me humble. Dem was da days.”
And to those that are worried about losing their 13 cents per year, I’ve got 13 pennies for you right here. Don’t mind the smell.
posted by Don Taylor @ 3:57 PM,
2 Comments:
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At 5:40 PM,
said...
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test
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At 3:09 PM,
said...
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What the HELL is an ass penny – and why do I suddenly feel like I need one?
(Let's see you explain this one tactfully, Wies Man)
