I Want to Be Able to Boil Sea-Spiders in the Gutters
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Wiesbaden, literal translation white waters (fountain – something dealing with h2o) and the reason it is called that is, I don’t think there has been a day here where it has not rained. It’s not a bad thing when you compare it to living in the Berkshires where it rained everyday at 5:30pm, without fail. Here it seems to rain either at noon or midnight. And then soon after it become partly cloudy again with a chance being much too cool for August.
The other reason this placed is named Wiesbaden is there are natural geothermal springs brewing under the city. I am told that the springs are so close to the surface that when snow falls it melts almost on contact. Grab your pencils, class. Its time for an impromptu science class. Stop that moaning over there, there will be no pop quiz. And you might learn something. Geothermal springs are caused by either the underground water is traveling extremely close to pockets of molten hot fillings of an McDonald’s Apple Pie (also known as magma), or the water is being pushed up by great pressure from the bowels the earth where it lies dormant waiting to attack unsuspecting college coeds who have gathered together one last time before they graduate and head off into the real world.
The other day, I go to Turtle, do you think they have or will ever have a volcano in one of these mountains or an earthquake or is Helmut, lord of the Hessen underworld second in command to his almighty Dark Lord Hassel of the Hoffs plotting his next great uprising to introduce der Dunkin auf Donuts to the Bavarians. Rather than answer, she rolled her eyes and order up another glass of Chianti.
Without an answer I quested to find one. Asking him, probing her, finally I got a local to answer me. This is the conversation, edited for your convenience.
“Why if you have this natural resource don’t you use it?"
“We do. We have many saunas, bathhouse and fountains.“
“I’ve seen most of your fountains but have not partaken in the saunas”
“Oh but you should, they are quite beautiful.”
“Eventually all good things… but that’s not what I mean. Why do you not use the heat from these spring for geothermal energy, like Iceland?”
“There is not enough heat to do that”
“Maybe, maybe not, but it could supplement the energy.”
“True, but then we wouldn’t have our fountains and they are quite beautiful, yes?”
“Yes they are but still”
“Let us go look at the fountains, see how they have gold pieces on them. That is from the water, there is, how do say fake gold?”
“Pyrite? Fool’s Gold?”
“Yes pyrite in the springs when it hits the air it becomes solid and attaches to whatever it meets.” “
“How about flesh?”
With that he rolled his eyes and order another Riesling. I realized then that Helmut does have a plan in the makings, to turn the city of Wiesbaden into something that would make Midas and Goldfinger proud. All right class, I lied. Get out a sheet of paper, put all your books under your desk. Time for a pop quiz.
posted by Don Taylor @ 3:51 PM,
