With a Side of What?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Ordering food is easy. Knowing what you are going to put into your mouth is something all together different. What I have eatten has ranged the spectrum of “hot damn that looks good” to “you want me to put that where” (said in my best 15 year-old girl way). A few restaurants have international menus, which is Germanized versions of various languages “Hot beef with gooey cheese in many tomotoe sauce.” With that I know what I’m getting. Then there are the Italian restaurants. I’ve eaten enough Italian in my days to know what most of those dishes are. And just for your knowledge, the Italian food here is like Naked Heaven on Silver Platter. (I think you can order that from the Adam and Eve website). Finally the German restaurants, the true Hard Core Deutschland Cuisine.
These are the places that I force myself to go to. Have to learn the ways, have to eat the food, have to appreciate the Hasselhoff. Maybe not the last one. I go in, look at the menu, avoid the foods that will kill me (I’ve got all those damn sea spider names memorized) find words I recognize, and order that up. Most of the time, it’s not bad, other times I will forever remember the way that dish kicked the crap out of my taste buds. Leaving them there whimpering, pleading for the bad man to go away. Shortly after a meal like that my taste buds seek consoling and usually finding in melty goodness that is pizza.
I figure I have to try the good with the bad, and take them both and there you have… a five year-old who is stealing my bread as I write this blog entry. “Hey you! Kid. Hey sie! Stop! Das ist mein Brot!”
“Schießkind!”
I know there are times when I exaggerate but this most assuredly is not one. I was here eating something that the Germans call a salad. Yes, it had lettuce, vegetables and other salad aspects but… think back to when you were a kid on Saturday morning and those short spots like “I’m Just a Bill” and “Golly, Golly get Your Adverbs Here” came on. There was one about not drowning your food is condiments or other extras they never saw that one. Most of their food is asphyxiated in some sauce or another and this salad was over its leaves in vinaigrette. Since I don’t know how to say ‘light on the sauce’ my arteries suffer.
Back to what I was getting at, so I was pluggin' away at the keyboard when I hear this mother shouting from behind me “Nein Sophia! Dat ist keinest
I’m not angry, I’m more shocked. The kind of shock where you wake up in the morning wearing a pink garter belt and you don’t even own a pink garter belt. Turquoise maybe, pink never. I don’t know what to do. The little one waves and walks back to her mother, who in turns says something along the lines of what can you do she is a kid. I let her know that’s its not a problem. Turn back to my screen and well there you have it. The only think I wish I had was my camera with me today so I could have snapped off a shot. That and some bread to soak up this vinaigrette.
posted by Don Taylor @ 7:57 PM,
1 Comments:
-
At 5:57 PM,
said...
-
Dude the little girl was actually a zombie. She just had bad depth perception. Don't believe me? Well then you come up with a reason that she'd want your rolls. Maybe she was saying, "Well that's how I roll!" Didn't think I'd pass up the opportunity did you? Fucker! Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Being across the pond isn't going to stop my quest for world domination!
