Day the World Ended
Friday, August 25, 2006
Dear fellow planets,
Let me start by saying I condemn each and everyone of you. What… no how could you just abandon me like that. I’ve always been good to you.
Venus remember that time you were afraid that you might be with moon. Who was there for you? Who took you to the clinic? Who held your hand and pushed aside your clouds as you wept? We all know it wasn’t Mars. Oh hell no. He was out orbiting with Europa, that little asteroid. And yes Mars, you red bastard, I held that secret until just now. Now lets see if you can reconcile that relationship. Venus, as aside, Mercury’s a much better pair for you. Sure he’s small and always has a dark side but at least he’s not going out looking for some action on the side. That and you have to admit he’s hot.
Hey Jupiter, remember when you were going through those tumultuous times? Right after the huge party we had ages ago, and you found out that you weren’t going to be the star of the show? You were completely inhospitable to everyone. Rage on about this, storming up controversy about that, but who was the one planet that called you up and wished that you were the star. Joking that if you were, I could be more than just a big ball of ice. Remember that? Of course you don’t you one-eyed giant freak.
I understand why Gaia’s children would want to kick me out of the universe. They associate me with death and their Christian Satan, hell they named my moon, its not my moon you idiots its my soulmate, Charon, when it should have been Persephone. But noooooo, I have to be all dark, cold and sinister. There can be no light out here, so they name my girlfriend after an old decrepit gondolier.
The children of Gaia say I can’t be a planet because I’m small and don’t follow the same path as everyone else does. Bigotry I say, closed minded sticklers, I decree. Why must everyone follow the same path, march right along and never do anything different. Alas, they are young, they might be able to change, and hopefully they won’t end up like Mars’ spawn. But you eight, you eight and your individual entourage, for just giving up on me, never speaking up, staying silent in the umbra and letting them do what they have done, I will wait. Yes I will wait and wait, because some day you will all get yours even if its not till the day that Helios finally loses his shit and just goes supernova on us all.
Till then myself, Ceres, Charon Persephone and UB313, there is no way in the Milky Way that I am going to call her Xena, will start our own club. We’ll have frozen drinks, and tapas and whatever the hell we want because we don’t have to listen to you all.
Have fun being the one on the outside looking in, Tune. No, you can’t be part of our group, even if you do rotate differently then everyone else. There’s no chance to retrograde now you watery nymph.
To hell with you all,
Pluto
posted by Don Taylor @ 6:19 PM,
