He Knows When You Have Been Naughty
Friday, December 08, 2006

Twas many nights before Christmas and there was a small boy who did not like the Holiday Season. He loathed and despised everything about it. He’d prefer if the exchange of gifts, the hanging of the greens, and the stockings hung by the chimney with care, would disappear, chalked up as another failed marketing ploy. “Cooking goose and hanging ornaments on a dead tree are just silly things, no one really enjoys them. And the music, the singing! Mom do we really have to listen to another version of bells going ding-dang-dong? They are all such silly songs.”
“You used to sing every line.”
“I was a kid then Mom.”
“You’re still a kid. You’re only 9.”
“Whatever, Mom.” He snarled and scorned from the backseat of the car looking at the brightly lit houses. The Merricks had their reindeer out on the front lawn; the Thorndikes had once again covered their garage with multi-colored lights that twinkled. ‘Waste of electricity. Don’t they know that the world is in an energy crisis, yet still everything must glow’ the boy thought. Even the Muellers’ house, simply lit with a single candle in every window, made him grumble with discontent.
“Why do we have to go out tonight? I was about to beat the evil knight.
“Well I have to get a few things, and I wasn’t about to leave you alone. Your father won’t be back ‘til eight or so.”
“But it’s going to be packed tonight.”
“Yes, but there will be carolers and chiming bells and Santa too.”
“Who cares, it’s just some guy in a red suit with nothing else to do.”
“True, but he still works for Santa. See, there are so many children that Santa can’t keep track of them all. So he hires people to watch them at the malls.
“Santa is not real, Mom. He’s make-believe.”
“I wouldn’t say that so close to Christmas Eve, honey.”
“Whatever Mom. How long are…” The little boy was about to gripe and complain more about Yuletide and the Season of Giving when next to him appeared a creature clad in dark rags. Willowy hair fell from a long gaunt face where a protruding brow rose to cover a sunken pair of red eyes. From the sides of his head emerged two twisted reindeer horns. And in his hand was a staff where vicious switches of wood extended from one end. The small boy began to raise a tremendous clatter.
“Oh please do stop that. It won’t do you an iota of good, young man”
“Get away from me! Mom! Help me!
“She can’t hear you. Only I can, and because I can, Santa can.”
“Santa’s not real. He’s just like fairies!”
“You josh. You know lying is not a good thing to do.” The creature said raising a corner of his lip revealing yellowed teeth. “It gets you in – well it gets you to meet me. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is…”
“I know you.”
“Interrupting people is rude. Sinful really, quite crude. So you know who I might be, hmmm. Care to enlighten me?”
“You’re the Devil!” screamed the little boy, tugging at the seat belt to be as far away from this creature as possible.
“Me? The Devil? Oh that’s a good one. Lucifer? Heaven forbid! Does it look like I have wings kid? Absolutely not. Wings, ha! Never wanted them either. O, the backaches you get from those things. And the mites, not even going to start on that, neither. And please stop trying to get out of your seat. Something happens to you, Old Man Kringle will have my hairy seat.” The creature reached over and relocked the boy in. Struggling away from the beast, the boy caught a whiff of candy canes. “There, in nice and tight, I must profess. Now let me introduce myself, I am the one and only, Krampus.”
“Never heard of you.”
“Most of you never do.” The creature said leaning back in the seat and sighing to himself. “You all hear about the elves and the reindeer. But poor old Krampus has been forgotten through the years.”
“So why come here? ”
“To give you a healthy dose of fear. See, giving coal to naughty girls and boys was one of the many things I enjoyed. I would take you brats away in my sack, too. Toss you in the river, or give you a whack with this here stick of mine.”
“That’s just sick.”
“Maybe for you and your overly sensitive friends, but Santa thinks its time to end all this whining and bickering and disrespect of parents. All of these behaviors, o so aberrant, will cease, and perhaps then a little peace will come at the hands of Santa’s right hand man.”
“So what are you going to do to me?”
“Nothing too heinous, this I can guarantee. St. Nick would never agree to that. No, I’ll knock some fear and holiday cheer into you. Beat you about with this here rod, do the wink, finger aside the nose and nod. Then all will be done.”
“That doesn’t sound like much fun.
“Not for you but it’s a riot for me, son. Now has all I said been understood?”
“I will believe in Santa and I promise I’ll be good.
And as Krampus raised his staff, he smiled at the boy and said, “I think everything is going to be alright, so Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”
Whack!

What you have read is real. Krumpus exist here in Europe. Seek him out yourselves.

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posted by Don Taylor @ 12:16 PM, ,