Let's All Go to the Lobby
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Two weekends ago, Turtle, a few friends, and I went out to see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan at a German theatre. Every so often you get a film here that is not dubbed in German. The only problem is that if someone speaks anything other than German or English the subtitles are in German. Looks like I won’t be seeing Apocalypto here.
Seeing the movie made me realize the huge difference between Americans and the rest of the world. Not only through the movie but the experience of going to see the movie itself. This was the weekend that that I had laryngitis, which makes the story all the more funny since I am the one who speaks the most German. I just sat back, shrugged my shoulders when someone looked at me for help and watched the world go by.
Here is the simple comparison --
German Theatre:
Like a sporting event, you purchase the row, aisle and seat you will be occupying
You can get beer or wine at the concession stand.
It cost the same as if you were to get it at a bar.
Before the movie starts vendors come around selling ice cream (ice cream and beer? Who knew?).
No children were at an R rated movie.
No one talked during the movie.
Theatre was clean and had a theme to it – the walls had murals, they used black lights, and the house lights were stage lights.
American Theatre:
Concession costs are elevated to defer some of the national debt.
You get there early only to have the best 40 seats reserved by 2 teenagers waiting for there friends to come from TGIFridays
You can get soda, water, coffee, coolattas, slushies, fruit juices, anything but alcohol.
Talking is a past time in the theatre especially if you are under the age of 19 or over 60.
Children and babies will always be present even if they are showing The Devil in Ms. Jones 69.
The theatres are usually fashioned in up-scale dentist office minus the pile of “Highlights” magazines.
Before the movie, here, you have to rise to the video presentation of the national anthem.
Now about the last little bit, I have no problem rising for the national anthem, I have a problem with the video that is playing underneath it. They have three; I have only seen two, which are entitled “Shock and Awe” and “Historical”. What occurs is a band plays a rendition of the national anthem while you are visually stimulated with clips of, well, bluntly, the US military forces blowing shit up. Bomb after missile. Air strike after cannon volleys. Explosion after oil fire. It pisses me off. This is not my United States. In these videos there is not one scene of home. There is not one picture of say the Red Sox vs. the Yankees, one image of community, one visage of the sandy beaches of California, the BBQ of Memphis, one view of friendliness, of the pursuit of happiness, of the independent spirit. The only images they show of the US itself, is the fall and aftermath of the Twin Towers, W, and when soldiers after four extended tours in Iraq get to see the daughter they don’t know. Other than those 5 seconds all they show is the dark side of how the rest of the world sees us. And that is also what Borat does.
That is why everyone in the movie is suing Sacha Baron Cohen, that and he’s rich be-otch. He is showing the world just how petty, insecure, neurotic, and unstable we are. And no one wants that brought to light, so we all try to subvert it and keep in the closet with the metal Christmas tree our aunt bought us last Xmas. The most frightening thing about the aftermath of the movie is the only group not to sue Cohen is the rodeo, the most prejudiced, apathetic, racist, close-minded, bloodthirsty representation of the US. The same ones who would hoot and holler and ask for their own copy of the “Shock and Awe” version of the national anthem. Fitting ain’t it?
Labels: America, culture, Epiphany, German
posted by Don Taylor @ 12:04 PM,
1 Comments:
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At 2:26 PM,
said...
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You know I think this is the first thing that I've read of yours that I could honestly say that I really liked. I'm not saying that I disliked everything else but this is a high water mark for you.
