Guerilla Germ(an) Warfare

It all began on humid, barely tolerable hot day in August. No one knew at the time that such a vicious and unparallel conflict would begin. The Geneva Conventions had long restricted chemical and biological warfare, but these armies did not, or would not understand the words written down that day. They followed only the rules and laws from political bodies that they held upon high. The politics of survival at all cost. That day August 6, 2006, was the day when all hell broke loose and all rules of conduct in war evaporated in mucus filled tissue.

Since coming over in August I have been sick no less than 8 times. A few were just simple head congestion or my stomach dancing a polka when the rest of the body was doing a jig, but then three maybe four times the warriors in this battle prepared and started a major skirmish. Laying havoc upon the landscape that is me. The last battle has been raging on for about a week now.

It all started with various sniffles and a sore throat. Nothing that anyone of us has not persevered before, then on last Friday in became worse, the mounting forced decided to mount a full out attack upon my throat silencing me for days. I could not speak a word louder than a thought and if I did I sounded, as my brother put it, like a basket full of baby howler monkeys. I just want to know how he knows what a basket full of baby howler monkeys sound like. Perhaps he has a side business importing exotic animals for the private use of their audience that cannot be rebroadcast with out the express written consent of the NFL (National Fetishism League). The loudest thing that I have had to say was the clicky-clak of my keyboard. It’s annoying, but in my silence I have figure out why I have been getting as the Germans say krank.

I thought it was that I was around new people everyday, being exposed to whatever plague they might currently be ferrying in from Köln. New people everyday, no chance to prepare for the on coming battle, no chance to get the ramparts built. Made sense. Back in the US I went to work in the same office, worked with the same people, went back to my same apartment, exposing myself (on some occasion yes that way) to same set of germs. Easy to build an immunity without impunity that way. Here its guerilla germ warfare. Never the same thing. That is what I thought, and then lying in bad, drinking my green tea with honey, surrounded by silence the answer rang clearly in my head as my computer chimed with new email.

The reason I have been getting sick; David Hasselhoff is attempting to possess me. Please send me a monk, a rabbi and watch episodes of Baywatch in reverse to see if any answers can be found. Or maybe if I spread the disease…



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posted by Don Taylor @ 11:34 AM,

1 Comments:

At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't figure out what's more pathetic. The fact that I'm trying to figure out how to explain the "howler monkey" comment or the fact that I actually started that Hasslehoff video. Something has got to be seriously wrong with me too.

 

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