All Hands on Deck… I said Deck
Thursday, September 28, 2006

Simple things are said to be the key to finding happiness. One of my favorite things is not warm woolen mittens or brown paper packages tied up with string, but to reside for hours in a hot shower spring. I have been known to purr like a shaved Tasmanian devil if the temperature is…just…right…purrrrrrrrrrr.

I wonder how I could of gone so long here without this simple pleasure. Only a couple days and I can be done with CheckPoint Bratwurst’s U-boat showers. From the beginning the damnable thing has had it in for us. The showerhead never stays stationary, spinning and dipping at its whim like some new summer toy from Whammo®. Only remedied with super high tech devices and tools, plastic cups wedged around the nozzle.

There was even the time when Turtle and I showered together, following the lead of our German hosts and be environmentally conscious. We were extolled by the Germans and then laughed at by the Dutch as we tried to bathe in our 2x2 foot tiled torture device. Forced to play Water Twister, by Hasbro® whist getting our health and beauty products. Here is an except from the transcript:
Can you get me my shampoo?
Where is it?
By my left foot.
Okay? [grunting and expletives] Here you go.
That’s my conditioner
Can’t you use that?
[vocal uh-uhs]
Fine. [unidentifiable crashing, more expletives]
Are you okay?
Yup, toilet broke my fall. Can you help me get my hand out of the can?

Being the malevolent sentient being that it is, the shower knows that we are leaving and decided to give us the full spa treatment for the final week. On top all else it has done, it has come up with the brilliant plan of stopping the drain. Now I truly can enjoy the experience of life on the U-boat, and relive my favorite scenes from Das Boot. Splashing around in a foot of water, having Germans panic while I’m soaking wet, all whilst trying to fix the problem. How does that saying go, “You don’t find a leak, you put leeks on your salad.” Or was it “You find a leak, a flood is caused by long haired women.”

Simply said I will find pleasure departing this sinking ship.

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posted by Don Taylor @ 3:27 PM,

2 Comments:

At 8:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The saying I know is that "you find a leak, a flood finds you."

 
At 1:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Buggers were never in the Navy. *sigh* First of all it's a 'Controlled Leak.' The saying is, "You find a controlled leak. A flood finds you."

Now I'm all nostalgic. Not for the Navy but for Halo. Wanna shoot Covenant Elite ground forces and mow down Flood troops with twin SMGs that have a maximum 150 rounds before reloading.

KILL THE FLOOD!!! KILL THE FLOOD!!! KILL THE FLOOD!!!!

 

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